Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Flashing!

Welcome to the latest chemo side effect: hot flashes!

Yes, chemotherapy actually puts you in menopause (or, as the gals on YSC like to call it, "chemo-pause").

The "pause" part happened right away, if ya get what I mean, but the hot flashes, thankfully, held off until about 2 nights ago. They seem to be a little better today.

The hubby is actually happy about it because we've always had, shall we say, a difference of opinion about the ambient temperature and, more specifically, what temperature is "comfortable." He's hopeful that now I'll be more understanding of his A/C addiction. We'll see. I'm not a big A/C fan and so prefer other heat mitigation methods/coping strategies (e.g., I've ordered a Chillow--stay tuned for a product review).

Friday, July 27, 2007

The Pros and Cons of Blogging

Pro: I don't have to have the same conversation over and over again, i.e., "How are you feeling?" "How many treatments do you have left?" and instead can talk with people about other stuff like, y'know, life.

Con: People read the blog and know what's going on with me and so don't actually call or e-mail. (Ok, so "people" is a bit of an overstatement. Some folks have been commenting, e-mailing and/or calling and for that I thank you. It's the lurkers I'm talking to here...)

How Have I Been Feeling?

Sorry about the blog blackout...it's been kind of a busy week. To make amends, here's an extra-long post about my first Taxol treatment, which was last Friday.

The treatment took basically all day: we* got there at 10am and finished somewhere around 5pm.

(*When I say "we" I mean me, my hubby, my mom, and my fave aunt. My dad also came, 'tho he arrived a bit later. I basically had an entourage.)

The treatment itself went fine. As I mentioned, this drug doesn't cause nausea, so the main risk was just getting psychologically induced nausea from things like the smell of rubbing alcohol. At the advice of a family friend, I went armed with spearmint tea and gum and, for good measure, held my nose whenever rubbing alcohol was being used--which is twice: once when they take my blood for the blood test and once when they access the port to start the treatment. And it worked! No nausea. Yay!

The main concern with Taxol is that you can have an allergic reaction. NOT, they tell me, to the Taxol itself but to whatever its mixed with to administer it. So they gave me a major IV dose of Benadryl. Which meant I pretty much napped thru the treatment.

By the time we got home the Benadryl was wearing off and I was pretty hungry from not having eaten much all day. (Hey, it was an achievement not getting nauseous--the thought of eating during treatment was not at all appetizing. I had a little fruit salad.) So the hubby, mom and I went to the St. Ann's Italian Festival here in the 6th Borough. It's the 97th annual festival featuring world-famous zeppoles made from a closely guarded recipe (the hubby has a hunch...he thinks they fry the dough). So we had sausage and pepper sandwiches and zeppoles and they were YUMMY.

Friday night I fell asleep pretty easily around 10pm, but woke up at 2am and couldn't get back to sleep until 6. Not kidding. I think it was from the steroids, which is another pre-med they give (with the Benadryl). Finally managed to go back to bed and slept until 9am, so in my own fashion managed a full night's sleep.

Saturday: I still felt pretty OK. Just a little tired. So we went over to my aunt's for an impromptu BBQ, which was a lot of fun.

Saturday night: I administered my Neulasta shot (yuk).

Sunday: spent a quiet day at home reading the new Harry Potter.

Monday: I was still feeling pretty tired--and knew I'd be having a busy couple of days at work mid-week--so took a sick day.

Monday night: The bone pain started. Bone pain is a potential side effect of both the Taxol and the Neulasta. Had weird bone/joint pain sort of all over but especially in my ankles and the tops of my feet. Very weird. And very hard to sleep.

Tuesday: Worked from home in the morning, then went to PT and then to work. (Picked up our CSA veggies on the way home and made a locally grown, sustainably farmed salad of tomatoes, cucumbers and chives. Yum! Ate it with pasta salad w/garlic scape pesto...also from the farm.)

Tuesday night: Took a Vicodin left over from my surgery and slept MUCH better.

Wednesday: Felt much more like my normal self. Which was good because we were having a training that I had organized and I needed to be at work a) on time and b) all day.

Wednesday night: Slept fine. No painkillers needed.

Thursday: Day two of the training.

Thursday night: Went out to dinner with friends in our old 'hood. Had a wonderful time. Life is basically back to normal (until the next treatment).

That brings us pretty much up to date...

Thursday, July 19, 2007

My Morning Coffee

I'm not really a big coffee drinker, but in the summer I do enjoy iced coffee. So, on my way into work, I stop at one of those carts the are ubiquitous on NYC streets.

The cart I patronize is run by the most charming young guy (I'm guessing early 20s). English is his second language, but he speaks it very well and is always trying out new idioms, jokes, words, etc.

He's always in a good mood, always remembers my order, and always calls me "Miss" (which is way better than "Ma'am").

My order, as it happens, is an iced decaf, milk, no sugar, and "just a straw, no bag, please."

Because he's so nice, I often let him keep the 50 cents of change from my $2 as a tip.

The problem: the coffee sucks. It took me a few days to figure out why, but then one day I watched closely and realized what it was. He uses instant coffee. ("Serves you right for ordering decaf," I can hear some of you saying.)

So what it comes down to is I pay $2 for a little early morning civility. I think I can live with that.

Monday, July 16, 2007

The Hair Chronicles, Part 5,077

...at least, it feels like part 5,077. (No pun intended--get it? hair, part? Sorry.)

It was pointed out to me by several alert readers that I hadn't posted my latest hair update:

I have officially given up on the wig.

After not wearing it for 10 days, I just couldn't bear to go back. Especially since last week it was like 90-something degrees out and humid. So, my colleagues are being treated to my scarf wardrobe (which is going to have to be augmented, I can tell already). It's truly amazing how few people ask about it. And, since after I lifetime of body/self-image issues, I am an expert at NOT looking in mirrors, I actually tend to forget that I look different.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Gilda's Club Weirdness...

I just called Gilda's Club because I was interested in attending a workshop they're holding this Saturday and was told I can't just come to a workshop, I have to become a member first, which is a multi-step process, part of which is they figure out if Gilda's Club is a good "fit" for me.

A good fit? WTF?????

I was a little put off by this (to say the least) and so am wondering if others out there have had good or bad experiences...

Please share.

(P.S. I should also add that a few months ago my aunt tried to volunteer for them and found them equally off-putting. She now volunteers with the National Aphasia Association instead!)

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

More Mini-Book Reviews

What have I been reading lately, you ask?

Good in Bed by Jennifer Weiner - I'd been curious about this one for awhile. I liked the beginning, liked the main character, was startled by how well the author nailed the whole body image thing, but thought she just sort of copped out with the (literally) "Hollywood ending."

Plan B by Jonathan Tropper - Same guy who wrote "Book of Joe" and "Everything Changes," both reviewed previously. Kind of like a male chick-lit author--light, quick reads with good dialogue, likable characters and some fairly incisive insights on the 30-something crowd. This book was sort of a Big Chill for my generation (I really hate that word: "generation").

Queen of the Oddballs by Hillary Carlip - a memoir by this woman who grew up in LA in the 70s and did some really outrageous things like stalking Carole King and winning the Gong Show. Entertaining in a surreal sort of way--what a life. California people are definitely different than the rest of us.

I think that covers it...I didn't have much time to read last week because I was finishing my short play which will be featured in week 1 (Sept 19-22) of ManhattanTheatreSource's Estrogenious Festival.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

It's Official...

Chemo sucks.

I realize this isn't earth-shattering news, but the first couple of treatments went so well I was sort of hoping to sail through this whole thing. Anyway, the last 2 have been much harder--more nausea, more tiredness, more achiness, and--as my oncologist called it--"deranged taste buds," which means that I get this weird taste in my mouth that lasts about a week and makes some foods taste sort of funny.

The good news is, I'm done with this particular drug combo and the next drug, Taxol, is supposed to be easier to tolerate (and isn't supposed to cause nausea). The bad news is I know have all these psychological nausea triggers--like the smell of rubbing alcohol--so I may get nauseous anyway. AND the administration of the Taxol takes FOREVER. The actual drug itself takes 3 hours, but with the bloodwork and pre-meds, they told me to plan on being their for ~5 hours. Because it takes so long and because they have to monitor me for any allergic reaction the first time around, I can't do the treatment in the evening like I have been, so my next treatment will be Friday, July 20th during the day.

So I have between now and then to conquer this psychological-nausea-trigger-thing. All advice welcome.

Thursday, July 5, 2007

My Brother Rocks!

My little brother cut off his gorgeous, long, curly hair and donated it to Locks for Love in my honor. How cool is that?

(And how ironic is it that the only one in my family with hair long enough to donate to Locks for Love is my brother?)