If You're Looking for Income Tax Deductions...

As you know, I am a big fan of manhattantheatresource.

In what could have been a ridiculously depressing year for me, the Source provided me with opportunities to direct (Spontaneous Combustion), assistant produce (Estrogenius), and to see my own work staged (and even reviewed!). To have this happen at a venue as well-respected as it is (as evidenced by the list of accomplishments below) was really a dream come true for me. (Or, at least, the beginning of a dream come true--I see even bigger things ahead in 2008.)

On top of that, more than being an organization or a venue, the Source is a community. The friends I've made there (and even some of the acquaintances) have been huge fonts of support for me this past year, providing everything from text messages and phone calls to a free Reiki session.

It's an incredible place. If you've wanted to do something for me this past year but couldn't figure out what (or if you're just looking for an end of year tax deduction), please consider the Source.

Happy Holidays!
*******************************
Here's their letter with all the details of how to donate:

Dear Source Friend:

In 2007, manhattantheatresource was hailed as "one of the top five
Off-Off Broadway theaters" by New York magazine. We enjoyed a
groundbreaking artistic year. Among our successes were the critically acclaimed
productions of Macbeth: A Walking Shadow; The House of Bernarda Alba ,
starring Broadway vet Joy Franz (Into the Woods ); and A Coupla White
Chicks Sitting Around Talking, which Pulitzer Prize-nominated playwright
John Ford Noonan declared "the best production I've ever seen of any of
my plays". Mac Rogers' stunning play Universal Robots was hailed as
"one of the best new works I've seen in the theatre all year" by
NYTheatre.com and selected to be published in New York Theatre Experience's
compilation, Plays and Playwrights 2008.

As we reflect upon our banner year accomplishments in 2007 and plan for
an even more vibrant year ahead, we hope you will join us in our vital
mission as a playground for passion, hard work, cooperation and big
ideas. By making a tax-deductible donation in any amount --
$250�$100�$50�$25�$10, you will be a part of keeping Off-Off Broadway theatre
alive.

We recently placed a new energized Board of Directors � Edward Gatta
(Owner, Damron Company), Andy Holtzman (former Discovery Channel
marketing executive), Fiona Jones (manhattan theatresource founder) and Danny
Smith (Executive Producer of TV's Family Guy). In November, Jim Lawson
and Lanie Zipoy were named as our full time Artistic Director and
Managing Director, respectively. Plus, the capital improvements we've made
to our lovely MacDougal Street landmark space have also had a strong
impact: Again, New York Magazine raved, "Could this place be any cuter?".


The EstroGenius Festival, our annual celebration of female creativity,
partnered with Peace Corps Niger and Friends of Niger to present the
cross-cultural collaboration Voices of Africa, raising more than $2,000
to send young girls in Niger to school. Mohamed Seidou, Executive
Secretary of Niger's Consulate, attended the opening night reception. We
hosted the Inner Circle Theater Company's 90-hour youth theater
internship program in our new, beautifully appointed audition/rehearsal room.

By making a tax-deductible donation now, you can help us realize our
ambitious plans for 2008, including:

* Implementation of the Writers Forum to develop new work with the
assistance from revered playwrights Joe Pintauro and Geraldine Aron.

* A thrilling production of Arthur Schnitzler's classic play La
Ronde, from a new translation, in January.

* Expansion of the extremely popular EstroGenius Festival from four
to five weeks in the fall.

* The launch of our first ever subscription series of programming.

* Capital improvements to upgrade the theater's lighting equipment
and our art gallery.

* Play with Jackie, a test pilot for a new game show starring
Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling.

* A four-part presentation and workshop on the Amelia Bassano
Lanyer Theory, which suggests Shakespeare's plays were written by a Jewish
woman of color and is considered to be one of the top eight theories by
the Shakespearean Authorship Trust.

* Classes on acting technique, financial planning and career
coaching for the artists we serve.

We need your support to continue to bring Greenwich Village and the
entire theatregoing community this type of exciting grass roots theatre.
With your assistance, our 2008 season will be our most innovative yet.
To make a tax-deductible, secure credit card donation, in any amount,
please visit:

https://www.ovationtix.com/trs/store/931

If you'd rather make your donation by check, please make it payable to
"Manhattan Theatre Source" and send it to us at:

Manhattan Theatre Source
177 MacDougal Street
New York, NY 10011

Thank you for your generous support. Every dollar you donate helps us
bring more highly original breakthrough productions.

Happy Holidays. See you in 2008!

Sincerely,
Jim Lawson, Artistic Director
Lanie Zipoy, Managing Director

Daryl Boling, Founder & Operational Committee

Amber Estes, Operational Committee

Fiona Jones, Founder & Board of Directors

Ed McNamee, Founder & Operational Committee

Nancy Sirianni, Operational Committee

Wrist Update, aka, Surgeons Don't Know Everything

I saw the PT yesterday (actually, she's an OT, but that's another story). When I told her the surgeon told me to ditch the brace in a week, she was aghast and appalled.

I have to admit, I was relieved. It seemed really weird to me to have the wrist immobilized for weeks and weeks and then completely unrestrained. Especially thinking about all the potential jostling and bumping involved in travel.

The good news is she gave me lots of exercises to do and I can already see a difference.

I am definitely on the mend!

Since you asked...

KVGoz~ The wrist is pretty stiff. The doc had me try a couple of basic movements before he put the brace on. A couple I could kind of do and I couple I couldn't do at all, which he said was normal. I go to see an OT on Thursday.

jl_strong~ I put the CSA details in a response comment for you. FYI, www.localharvest.org is a great site to use to locate CSAs and Farmer's Mkts all over the US.

Cast Off!

The cast came off my wrist this morning.

The doc x-rayed and said the healing looks great.

And I only need to wear the wrist brace for one, so it'll be off for Xmas!

Now I just need to find an OT that takes my insurance.

The Perfect Petition!

Go here to sign a petition asking Microsoft to reduce the default margin size in Microsoft Word.

To me, this has all the hallmarks of the perfect petition:
1. It's directed at Microsoft, the company we all love to hate because of their insidious control of the software market and, thereby, much of our lives.
2. The freakin' large default margins in Word are a pet peeve of mine.
3. It's good for the environment.

What are you waiting for? Go!

Neil Gaiman Rocks!

I'm a pretty big Neil Gaiman fan, mostly because he wrote this:

(He also wrote a few other things, like the screenplay for Beowulf.)

But, here you can read about how he helped a "regular guy" propose. Really cool story, complete with pictures. Actually warmed the cockles of my heart (and I don't really know what "cockles" are.)

Thanks to my brother for pointing me to this!

"Nothing New" - Taking the $$ out of Chri$tma$

The whole shopping frenzy that is the Christmas season is something I've been trying to come to terms with for years. Here's an idea from a work colleague:

"Our family started a Christmas tradition called 'nothing new under
the tree' - each year we give gifts that are not commercial in nature,
something handmade, a gift certificate for a lesson or some time
together, We have been doing this for 14 years now and it has taken the
consumerism out of Christmas."

Whaddaya say family? Wanna try it next year?

My boots are being held hostage!

About 2 weeks ago, on a Wednesday, I brought my favorite boots to the shoe repair place near work.

The next morning the building was shut down and evacuated by the Dept of Buildings. Apparently, the construction next door dug too deep and destabilized the foundation.

There are currently huge braces holding the building up.

Literally.

I think I'm going to have to go shoe shopping...

Only in NY. Really.

It happened in court:

"One by one, people were called to the front of the room. When someone with an open container violation was called up, the bailiff read their name and, strangely, the brand of alcohol they were drinking.

Middle-aged black men were usually caught with Hennessy, Hispanics always preferred Corona, and a preppy woman blushed with embarrassment when it was announced to the crowd that she was busted for guzzling white wine from Crescendo Hills Vineyards.

The only oddity came when an the bailiff announced “Moet Champagne” and an Asian man with a ponytail strutted cockily to the front of the room while murmurs of “All right!” and “That’s the way to do it, man!” came from the crowd."

Courtesy of Hoboken411.

Where's the Money Lebowski?

Thanks to Laughing at the Pieces for leading me to this critique of the Big L.

(I guess this is way the whole durn blogosphere keeps perpetuatin' itself.)

I'm Done! I'm-done-I'm-done-I'm-done-I'M-DONE!

No more boob-zapping!

Huzzah!

Woo-hoo!

Yippee!

(I tried to find a clip online of "Mad About You," Season 1, Episode 6, but no luck. There's a point in there when Jamie screams, "I won! I-won-I-won-I-won-I-won!" The phrase is a little off, but the triumphant excitement is dead on. I can screen it for you the next time you visit.)

Christmas Song Rant

I read this on one of blogs I follow today and couldn't resist sharing.

Here's an excerpt about that stupid Christmas Shoes song (you know, the one they made a TV movie out of): "if shoes are what impress Jesus, I'm screwed"

Revelation

I just realized something...

To celebrate the end of the major components of my treatment, the hubby and I are jetting off (I love how that sounds) to London the day after Christmas and staying through New Year's.

As you can no doubt appreciate, I'm particularly anxious to celebrate the END of 2007.

What I realized is that, since we'll be in London, we'll actually get to start 2008 FIVE HOURS EARLIER than if we were here.

Woo-hoo! Take that 2007!

Joke of the Day

What I particularly love about this is how it opens with a little springboard story about the importance of creativity at work (which is basically the mission of my day job). Enjoy!

The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week. When everyone gathered, the boss, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest.

The theme was Viagra advertising slogans. The only rule was that they had to use past ad slogans, originally written for other products, that captured the essence of Viagra. Slight variations were acceptable. About seven minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and created a Top Ten List.

With all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went very well for everyone.

10. Viagra, Whaazzzz up!

9. Viagra, The quicker pecker upper.

8. Viagra, Like a rock!

7. Viagra, when it absolutely, positively has to be there over night.

6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.

5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.

4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.

3. Viagra, home of the whopper!

2. Viagra, We bring good things to Life!

And the unanimous number one slogan:

1. This is your penis. This is your penis on drugs.

A Query

How do you manage all your usernames and passwords?

I'll tell you how I manage mine. My (very old) cellphone has a feature whereby I can designate a contact as "secret." When I do this, I need to put in an access code to open that contact info. So, by remembering one access code, I can access all my usernames and passwords. It's a really good system. It works. It's portable. It's convenient.

So what's the problem, you ask? I'll tell you. My very old cell phone is dying and none of the new ones have this feature (as far as I've been able to tell).

I have to be honest. My current system works so well and seems like the obvious, convenient solution that I cannot fathom why there wasn't protesting in the streets when the secret feature was phased out.

Clearly, I'm missing something. Please clue me in.

The REVISED Final Countdown

or, "How 7 8 9..."

Yesterday was the last radiation to my full boob.

Today is the last radiation to my supra clavicle nodes.

Today is my first of 6 "boosts" to the incision site.

Which means I will finish radiation ONE DAY SOONER THAN EXPECTED--Thursday, Dec 6th instead of Friday, December 7th.

To commemorate this unexpected good news, I give you this not-really-relevant clip from Sesame Street:

Quick Update

Radiation: It's the final countdown...only 9 to go!

Wrist: Got the stitches out yesterday and the hard cast put on. Doc said it needs to be on 3 weeks, so I go back on Dec 17th. Which means it should be off in time for our trip to London!

What I'm Thankful For...

Being 2/3 done with radiation as of today!

(There's obviously other stuff too, but typing w/one hand sucks...)

My First Meme*!

*A blog meme is a type of Internet meme that requires active participation by the blogger and rarely traces back to an originating source. It's often a series of questions that a blogger answers to share some personal perspective or experience on random topics.

Rob tagged me with the "Happiness Meme of Happy Happiness," the instructions for which are Just create a post about any number of things that have made you happy recently. Then tag any number of people and have them post this meme on their blogs.

So, here goes. Things that have made me happy recently:
1. My wrist isn't hurting.
2. The surgeon was able to get the bones lined up "perfectly."
3. I made it to radiation on Thurs and Fri and so am still on track to finish on Dec 7.
4. My boob is not red or otherwise irritated from the radiation.
5. On Wed, I'll be 2/3 done with radiation.
6. I didn't break the dominant wrist and so am not entirely paralyzed.
7. I got to see a bunch of movies that I'd wanted to see this past weekend.
8. I'm married to a great guy who has been totally supportive through this calamitous year.
9. I have excellent health insurance.
10. My treatment center is conveniently located near the subway, the PATH station, and the Source.
11. I am almost done with the major elements of my bc treatment.
12. Thanksgiving is Thursday (yummy!)
13. Christmas is coming and I think I've figured out a workable gift strategy.

I could probably go on, but that's enough for now. So, I tag Keith, Tash, and Andi.

4/7 Done!

4 weeks of rads down, 3 to go!

I was able to make it on the day of my wrist surgery (thanks Dad!) and the day after on my own, so I am ON TRACK.

Woo-hoo!

Wrist Update

I'm having surgery tomorrow. I know you're probably all tapped out on good vibes, but I'll take whatever I can get.

The short update is that w/o surgery I could lose up to 30% of the range of motion in the wrist. Surgery can reduce that to 10%. And surgery actually shortens the time I need to be in a cast.

So, better outcome and shorter recovery time make it sort of a no-brainer decision for me.

It's outpatient surgery and I can go back to work as soon as the pain is under control (right now it doesn't hurt at all really).

I can't resist posting this--it's a pic of me in the ER with my arm literally weighted down to get the bones back into place. Ah, modern medicine!

I Don't Freakin' Believe This

And you won't either.

Are you ready?

I broke my wrist. (No, Keith, thankfully not my scaphoid, but it still may need surgery.)

Also thankfully, not my left wrist, as that would truly suck. (Again, sorry Keith.)

Reasons I'm pissed (oh, let me count the ways):
1. I'm currently stocked up on doctor's appointments, thank you.
2. I just started going to yoga again--and loving it--a couple of weeks ago. Looks like that's off the menu for awhile.
3. It was my first time using my brand-new ice skates.
3a. My friend and I had been skating for an hour and were about 5 steps from being off the ice--done for the day.
3b. My mom and hubby are not going to let me live this down.

On the positive side, after all the crap I've been thru this year, I was able to handle the whole thing pretty calmly. (Ok, so the pain meds help with that, but still.)

The funniest thing I've read lately...

was this blog post:

http://15minutelunch.blogspot.com/2007/10/strap-in-shut-up-and-hold-on-were-going.html

Trust me, it's worth it.

Happy Friday!

I'm 1/3 Done!

Yesterday was my 11th radiation treatment, so "only" 22 to go! Woo-hoo!

So far, so good: no redness or skin irritation (I've been using the Calendula lotion religiously) and no fatigue as far as I can tell.

Keep those good vibes comin!

Election Day!

Calling all (any) Hudson County readers!

Protest the lack of choice in today's election and write in "Keith Gosselin." (Full disclosure: we're related.)

Go here for more info: http://nataliyagosselin.blogspot.com/2007/11/election-day.html

***

In an effort to be a responsible voter, I have just spent the past 1/2 hour trying to find info on the 4 referendum questions on the ballot. It wasn't easy. For you NJ voters, this appears to be the best summary: http://www.philly.com/inquirer/local/20071102_No_sure_answers_for_ballot_questions.html

As the article mentions, question #4 is the least controversial. It concerns the denial of the right to vote and proposes to replace the phrase "idiot or insane person" with "a person who has been adjudicated by a court...to lack the capacity to understand the act of voting."

The hubby and I agreed that the use of "idiot or insane person" could lead to a number of people we know being denied the right to vote, including him.

Quote of the Day

There are 10^11 stars in the galaxy. That used to be a huge number. But it's only a hundred billion. It's less than the national deficit! We used to call them astronomical numbers. Now we should call them economical numbers.
- Richard Feynman, physicist, Nobel Laureate

Since Feynman died in 1988, this is clearly not a recent quote. And it wouldn't have been true in the latter part of the Clinton administration, when we were actually RUNNING A SURPLUS.

But, thanks to the present administration and the big mistake in Iraq our numbers are back in the astronomical range.

So how big is the national deficit? This was actually harder to find than I expected it to be. According to the Administration it's approximately $163 billion. But according to this site, that doesn't take into account the money we're "borrowing" from Social Security. With that added, it's more like $600 billion.

What about the national debt (i.e., the cumulative total of our deficits)? $9 trillion and counting. So approximately the number of stars in 90 galaxies...

TV Trivia: Chuck Lorre Productions

For awhile now, I've noticed that at the end of the certain TV shows (e.g., "Two and a Half Men"), there's a one-screen-shot flash for "Chuck Lorre Productions." The shot shows a screen full of text, but it goes by too fast to read. I've made a conscious effort to read it and got enough in my fast glimpse to be able to tell it was more than jibberish, but that's it. And it goes by so fast that I normally forget about it a few minutes later.

The routine goes like this: TV show. Flash-and-glimmer-of-curiosity. Next show or commercial or whatever--curiosity gone.

It's an interesting exercise in how short our (or at least my) attention span is.

Anyway, today, I finally remembered to Google it and, of course, they're called "Vanity Cards" and they're all online here. They're basically mini-essays on life, the universe and everything (sort of like a non-blog, blog).

And now I know who Sheldon Leonard is. (I knew the 2 characters' names on The Big Bang Theory sounded familiar but all I could come up with was Sally's ex-boyfriend in When Harry Met Sally...You know. The days of the week underpants.)

Anyway, enjoy.

Movie Recommendation: U.S. vs. John Lennon

I always knew John Lennon was my favorite Beatle and it's just been reaffirmed.

This documentary takes us through his late Beatle, post-Beatle period and his growth as an anti-war activist. And the Nixon administration's fight to get him deported for it.

Featuring interviews with Yoko Ono, Angela Davis, Bobby Seale and even J. Gordon Liddy.

Really interesting stuff.

We saw "Across the Universe" a couple of weeks ago and I think the two movies actually work well together to give you a picture of the times and the Beatles place in it.

Public Service Announcement: Ask EPA

from http://www.epa.gov/askepa/

Ask EPA is an online interactive forum where you can discuss a wide range of environmental

and human health issues with EPA's senior officials.

In our first session, join Administrator Steve Johnson to discuss EPA's efforts to promote clean and dependable energy solutions, including the Change a Light Campaign.

Date: Thursday, November 1
Time: 3:00 pm - 4:00 pm ET

Submit questions for Admininstrator Johnson

Wow. This is really powerful...

Thanks to Melly for leading me to this site!

Check out their other films "Evolution" and "Amy."

What a Sad, Crazy Day

As I've mentioned, my main "support group" is the YSC bulletin board. It's an amazing, wonderful, horrible place.

It's amazing and wonderful because the women there are so open, so giving, so knowledgeable, so strong, so honest, so funny...you get the idea. Any question you have, there's someone (usually several someones) there who can answer it. If you're having a bad day and need cheering up, someone will do that. If you're having a good day and want to share, you'll find lots of welcoming virtual ears. It's also wonderful because you see women on there with "late stage" BC (Stage IV, aka "mets") who are going strong (sometimes 7 years, 9 years or even further out), having fun, getting married (and, yes, dealing with the incurable version of this disease and the truly crude and harsh methods we have of treating it).

It's horrible because you also see the worst-case scenarios all the time. When I started chemo, the doctors told me about all the weird, rare possible side effects that "1 in 10,000" people get. Same thing with radiation. Same thing with surgery. Well, on the boards, it seems like there's always someone who gets that side effect (for example, one friend lost all sensation in her legs from the knees down after 2 doses of Taxol--a condition know as neuropathy--and had to stop treatment; she's currently wearing leg braces to walk and can't drive).

And it's really horrible when someone dies. Which happened yesterday. Melinda, 35 years old, first diagnosed in 2005, relapsed with mets in May this year. Too young and too fast. Too sad. Oh yeah. And she was an oncologist. Which, to me, makes it seem even more unfair.

Moment of silence for Melinda and her family.

It's B-a-a-c-k...(Hair Chronicles #75,363)

Well, the hair on my head is still a little too baby fine and sparse to be called an actual hairstyle yet, but it's definitely coming in and the hair everywhere else is pretty much back.

My eyebrow and eyelashes are about 1/4 inch long and my eyebrows were getting unruly enough that I actually had to get them waxed this weekend! (I had gotten so used to drawing in these delicate little eyebrows it was a little bit of a culture shock when my real ones came in. Whoa baby! We're going to need to keep these puppies under control.)

I think my eyelashes will be substantial enough to handle some mascara about a week from now.
(I remember posting awhile ago that I had read of people getting their eyelashes back "overnight." They lied. The lashes have been creeping in for a couple of weeks now and are still not very noticeable to the naked eye.)

1 Down, 32 to Go!

Had my first radiation treatment today. The rest will be administered Mon-Fri at 5pm each day. We skip Thanksgiving but not Veteran's Day so that means I should be done December 7th. So, between now and December 7th please send nice, happy vibes to my boob around 5pm. (Actually, anytime would be nice, but 5pm would be particularly nice.)

Here's what to wish/pray for:
- that the radiation finds its target (i.e., any cancer cells)
- that the radiation leaves harmless the healthy cells in the area: skin, rib, lung, heart
- that the radiation doesn't cause me any fatigue...I have too much to do!

Thanks!

The Presidential Candidates - Who Do You Agree with on the Issues?

I remembered this site from the last election and found it very informative (and a lot more time-efficient than watching all the debates).

Basically, you take the quiz and they tell you how you match with the candidates. It removes a lot of the superficial stuff and really tells you how much the candidates' views align with your own on the issues.

VoteMatch Quiz

I was surprised to find that I agree with Hilary (75%) and Kucinich (73%) much more than with Barack (55%).

Dumbeldore is Gay!

This is actually according to the author...

Read the CNN news story here.

So now the religious right can hate these books even more. Witchcraft and homosexuality--the double whammy!

Quiz of the Day

A friend from grad school sent this to me: Civics Quiz

The organization who created the quiz is arguing that colleges are failing America's students.

It was hard. I got an 81.67%. What did you get?

How Green Is Your State?

Check this out.

(Spoiler alert: NJ and NY both made the top 10!)

The Secret History of the War on Cancer

I was pointed to this today and found the interview REALLY thought-provoking.

Devra Davis, an epidemiologist at the Center for Environmental Oncology at the University of Pittsburgh Cancer Institute, was interviewed by NPR's "Fresh Air." It's really worth a listen:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=14986010

B9!

The MRI-guided biopsy results are in and benign! So, I'm still goin steady with NED (no evidence of disease)!

Tackiest Pink Ribbon Products

Ok. To prevent "reader fatigue" from my potentially month-long rant on this topic, I'm going to put all the offending products in this post and just edit as needed...

Herr's "Crave the Cure" pretzels
Jingle Jugs (you have to see them to believe them)
Pink Wedding Gowns for the Cure
Panera's Pink Ribbon Bagels (featuring cherry chips and dried cranberries--yuk!. However, I will note that last year they raised $200,000 as compared to Herr's sad maximum of $20K.)

Please feel free to submit anything you come across that's particularly egregious.

Al Gore Wins Nobel Peace Prize!

Well, I guess if you're going to have the U.S. presidential election stolen from you, this is a pretty nice consolation prize.

I'd love to be around 100 years from now and see what history has to say about Gore and Bush. I have a feeling Gore will be the better known of the two, having done more with one film and lecture tour for the betterment of our planet than the entire Bush administration.

As my friend ktbuffy would say, "Woot!"

Annoying Product Update

I actually heard back from Herr Foods:

"$0.25 per bag is being donated, with a minimum donation of $5,000 and a maximum of $20,000. The proceeds are going to the Linda Creed Breast Cancer Foundation.www.lindacreed.org"

That's a lot of pretzels. 25 cents into $5,000 equals 20,000 bags. For them to donate $20,000, they'd have to sell 80,000 bags. I wonder what their profit off that is? Why more than $20,000, you can be sure. A little underwhelming from a company that earlier this year announced a $15 million expansion.

Annoying Product of the Day

Seriously, there's got to be a better way to further breast cancer research than buying pretzels...

And notice how they say "a portion of the proceeds." What portion? 50%? 25% Somehow, I doubt it. (I did write to them and ask and will report back what they tell me.)

And where's it being donated? To "a breast cancer awareness foundation." A foundation so dedicated to raising awareness that they remain cloaked in anonymity for the purposes of this advertising campaign.

And what does that even mean anyway? Raising awareness? So far all I've learned from Breast Cancer Awareness Month is that anything can be commercialized.

Holy Crap!

I just realized that this is the first week I've been in the office for 5 days in a row since the week of MAY 7th. That's 20 consecutive weeks!

Those intervening 20 weeks have been filled with flex days (10), work-from-home days (about 7), holidays (3), vacation days (7) and sick days (7).

My average number of days per week in the office was 3.2. The median and mode were both 4.

Radiation Postponed

If you've been paying attention, you'll recall that I was supposed to start radiation on Tuesday.

However, I had a bunch of scans last Friday (see my post "MRI=Naptime?"). The mammogram and the ultrasound were clear, but the MRI showed something weird in my healthy boob. The consensus (from the lab, the surgeon's office and the oncologist's office) is that it's probably nothing and I shouldn't worry about it, but that they need to check it, so I'm having an MRI-guided biopsy next Wednesday. Once I get the "all clear" from that--the pathology will take around 5 business days to come back--I can start radiation (I've scheduled a new start date of October 23rd.)

How do I feel about this?
On the positive side:
- I'd rather go through this now while I'm still "in the middle" of everything, rather than a year from now when this will all be a rapidly dimming memory.
- I'm fortunate to have access to a facility that does MRI-guided biopsy. Since this only showed up on the MRI, there is no other way to biopsy it. If I lived somewhere where I didn't have access to this level of care, they'd probably have just said "we'll have to wait and see."

On the negative side:
- I was really looking forward to being done with radiation before Thanksgiving (talk about something to give thanks for!). Now it will be closer to Christmas.
- Having an MRI-guided biopsy is a little too science fiction-y for my comfort, although it's supposed to be a pretty simple procedure.

What can you do?
Send positive vibes, prayers, thoughts--whatever floats your boat--that:
1. It really is nothing.
2. The procedure goes smoothly.
3. They get the results back FAST. (Waiting sucks.)

Good News from Fresh Direct!

I have long been a fan of FreshDirect--as someone living in a walkup apartment with no car how could I not be?--BUT...their packaging has always driven me crazy. To the point that I've sort of "rationed" how often I order from them. I had actually sent e-mails to them a couple of times, with no response. But apparently someone was listening after all (note especially item #3):

October 1, 2007

Dear Jennifer,

At FreshDirect, we've always been proud to be a homegrown NYC business. With that thought in mind, we believe we have a responsibility to serve our customers with an eye toward a healthy, prosperous future for our neighbors and the city we all love.

Though we're still a very young company (as of this summer we're just five years old), we intend to act as responsible environmental stewards and to work toward better serving our neighborhood while we take care of both customers and employees.

FreshDirect will accomplish this in several ways:

1. CUTTING EMISSIONS FROM OUR DELIVERY TRUCKS.
We love that our trucks have become a mass transit system for food, each one replacing the many cars and cabs that would otherwise be used to bring families and food together. We're committed to making our trucks as clean-burning and low-impact as possible.

FreshDirect has partnered with Tri-State Biodiesel, a NYC-based company dedicated to providing the region with clean, renewable biodiesel sources. Tri-State uses cooking oil donated from our kitchen for use in non-toxic diesel fuel. In the next year, we plan to initiate biodiesel use in 100% of our delivery fleet. This action will both reduce emissions and cut back our use of fossil fuel products.

Additionally, we are working with the city to identify locations for electrical outlets so we can plug in our trucks and refrigerate using electric engines. We hope to have our first plug-in truck in mid-2008.

2. REDUCING THE AMOUNT OF WASTE WE PRODUCE.
We recently switched our delivery boxes in favor of boxes that use 100% recycled fiber content - no virgin fibers are needed in any FreshDirect box. We're proud to announce that within the next 3 years, we'll eliminate nearly all of our cardboard delivery boxes, replacing them with recyclable plastic totes and grocery bags. Since our facility was designed with cardboard boxes in mind, switching our systems will involve a complex re-engineering process. We believe these efforts will drastically reduce our use of cardboard and eliminate any challenges we currently face with under-packed boxes.

3. FEEDING OUR NEEDIEST NEIGHBORS.
We work hard to make sure that surplus food doesn't go to waste. Accordingly, FreshDirect is one of City Harvest's largest food suppliers, helping them to feed New York's neediest. We were recognized this year for "extraordinary dedication," and we intend to maintain that level of commitment.

4. INCREASING THE AMOUNT OF LOCAL PRODUCTS WE SELL.
Forging partnerships with good people doing good work has been a FreshDirect hallmark for years, and few companies sell more local products. Buying from farms, orchards, dairies and fisheries in the Tri-state area reduces the use of fossil fuels, supports artisanal craftsmanship and stimulates our local economy. During the next year, we will further extend our commitment to local producers and work to bring you even more options for locally-based eating.

5. PROVIDING EVEN MORE INFORMATION TO HELP CUSTOMERS MAKE INFORMED CHOICES.
Environmental choices are often complicated, highly personal decisions. That's why FreshDirect believes in offering customers the opportunity to make informed choices for themselves and their families. We will continue to deliver on that commitment by looking for new ways to deliver quality food alongside thorough information. In the coming year, we'll work to increase our selection of fish certified as sustainable by the Marine Stewardship Council. And by the end of 2007, our Seafood Department will display the sustainability status on each product.

These commitments demonstrate just a few of the ways we're working to make FreshDirect a sustainable company and a good neighbor within our community. We look forward to keeping you up-to-date on our progress in the months and years to come.



Best Regards,


Steve Michaelson
FreshDirect President and CEO


Susan Schreiber
FreshDirect Environmental Initiatives Director


PS: We always welcome your comments and ideas. Just drop us a line: greenideas@freshdirect.com
© 2002 - 2007 FRESHDIRECT. All Rights Reserved.

The Pink Curse Redux

Well, it's October, which is officially Breast Cancer Awareness Month (betcha didn't know that, did you?). The tip-off is that the stores are awash in pink-ribbon-bedecked merchandise.

I am here to tell you: caveat emptor.

The blogger the Assertive Cancer Patient puts it really well: Boycott October

You can also check out "Think Before You Pink." The information on "Pinkwashing" is particularly compelling I think.

MRI = Naptime?

Friday was Test Day.

I had a mammogram, breast ultrasound and MRI. Actually, they did the MRI first. And I think I feel asleep about halfway through.

Now, those of you who've never had one probably think this is no big deal. But let me explain. First of all, MRIs are noisy. VERY noisy. So noisy they gave me earplugs to muffle (but not block out) the sound. Secondly, (at least for a breast MRI) halfway through I get injected--via an IV--with contrast dye. Thirdly, I have to lie face down on my stomach with my breasts sort of hanging down into these cutouts and my face in a face cradle. And, as with any MRI, I had to lay perfectly still for the whole thing. How I managed to doze off under these conditions, I have no idea. But I somehow pulled it off.

We Got Reviewed!

It's official! Someone not related to me liked my show:

http://www.nytheatre.com/nytheatre/estr5771.htm

The Berkshires

I knew I wanted to go somewhere to celebrate the end of chemo, the trick was figuring out where to go.

My first thought was to go back out to the North Fork of Long Island and back to the Red Barn. The hubby and I stayed there a couple of years ago and had a wonderful time exploring the wineries (yes, there are wineries on Long Island...lots of 'em). Plus, the innkeeper is an "amateur" astronomer with a kick-ass homemade observatory behind the house, complete with a HUGE computer-controlled telescope through which the hubby was able to observe "deep space objects" in the wee hours of the morning. The inn itself is small and charming and the hot breakfasts feature local and organic foodstuffs. Alas, the innkeepers were off to a wedding the weekend in question.

My next thought was Woodstock, NY and the Onteora Mountain House, where the hubby and I also stayed a couple of years ago for the weekend (courtesy of an Xmas gift from my dad and his wife) and had a lovely, relaxing weekend. The rooms are a bit spartan, but the views are spectacular, as are the common areas, and the breakfast is phenomenal. But, they do alot of weddings and so were booked solid.

My NEXT thought was the Mansion at Saratoga Springs, where my mom and I go every summer. This is actually my favorite B&B in the world (at least, so far). The rooms are lovely, as is the house, the breakfasts are unbelievable and they serve wine & cheese each evening--making the whole thing a really good deal for the money--but September is racing season so rooms that are normally $135/night go for twice that. Plus it would be crowded.

Finally, I thought of the Berkshires. We'd never been up there, but Edith Wharton's house, "The Mount," is in Lenox and that seemed like a good enough excuse to make the trip. We stayed at the Hampton Terrace. The room was large and featured a very cool jacuzzi tub and the house itself was very graciously proportioned and appointed. The location was perfect: just around the corner from "downtown" Lenox (which stretches for all of 2 square blocks) and a quick drive to the Mount. But the breakfast was very underwhelming (albeit, this is based on being spoiled by the 3 places mentioned above) and it was a little on the pricey side.

That said, we still had a great weekend. Here are the highlights:
- The Mount (of course) - This was Edith Wharton's summer home for about 10 years. She not only lived there, she designed the house and gardens. In fact, Edith Wharton's first book was not a novel, but was a non-fiction manual on interior design. "The Decoration of Houses" (co-authored with architect Ogden Comden) is still considered one of the seminal works of the interior design field and is still in print. Unfortunately, when she moved out of the house, she took all her belongings with her, but the estate recently (2005) acquired 2,600 of her books from a rare book dealer in England, so the "heart" of the house is in place.

- Dinner by ourselves at Rumpelstiltzkin's - The food was unexceptional, but it's pretty rare to have a restaurant to yourself. Saturday night we decided to stay in town and go to one of the local inns for dinner. As it turned out, pretty much everyone in town was at a wedding and so the hubby and I were literally the only ones in the restaurant for dinner. Afterward, we went down to the inn's bar for a drink, where there were 3 other customers, one of whom was our waitress. And I thought Hoboken was a small town...

- Chocolate Springs Cafe - Oh. My. God. The cafe is not located in downtown Lenox, but in a strip mall north of town. The inauspicious location, however, was more than compensated for by the welcoming decor and, of course, the CHOCOLATE. We went there on our way out of town to get my mom a thank you gift for loaning us her car for the weekend. Our expectation was that we would pop in, buy a box of chocolates, and leave. One look and sniff was enough to convince us otherwise. We grabbed out books and curled up on one of the sofas with some of their "Serious Hot Chocolate." We also decided we needed a "thank you gift" of chocolate too, so left with 2 boxes of hand-picked deliciousness.

- Stagecoach Tavern - This former stagecoach stop has retained the look and feel of an old-time tavern, but serves modern cuisine. The rustic ambiance combined with the excellent wine and food created the perfect "capper" for our weekend.

Out, Out, Damn Port!

Huzzah! It's out!

I had the procedure Friday morning and it really couldn't have gone better.

I was a little nervous about it because I had read a couple of horror stories online (the down side of support group discussion boards is that you always hear the worst-case scenario) and so thought the removal would be more difficult/painful than the insertion. However, that turned out not to be the case. The surgery took less than an hour. All told, we were at the treatment center less than 3 hours. I took a nap in the afternoon (after-effects of the anesthesia) and took regular ole Tylenol as a precaution, and that's it. Haven't taken any pain meds (haven't had any pain) since Friday.

So, life--at least for the moment--is back to normal.

What Have I Been Doing w/My Month Off?

As I previously reported, I'm on a 1-month break between chemo and radiation. So, what have I been doing with all my free time?

1. Working.
2. Volunteering (back to doing my regular weekly shift at the Source)
3. Seeing my play! (It opened last night as part of Estrogenius Week 1 and runs until Saturday. Tickets are available here.)
4. Helping produce Week 2 of Estro.
5. Getting a new surgeon (my original surgeon left NYC).
6. Scheduling scans--mammo, ultrasound and MRI--so we can make sure everything's ok before I start rads.
7. Getting my port out. Tomorrow!
8. Celebrating--the hubby and I went to the Berkshires for the weekend in early September.

So, basically, it's been a busy month. And I need to get better about posting. But that's the basic update.

Life Without Eyelashes - Hair Chronicles #10,052

Well, chemo is over but my hair is still AWOL.

Granted, I have this sort of peach fuzz on my head, but I'm just not convinced that it's hair, despite what the hubby says. It's more like a hair precursor.

And my eyelashes and eyebrows are pretty much a memory, except for a few brave stragglers. Suddenly, the saying, "you don't know what you have until it's gone," has a whole new poignancy.

Oddly enough, I miss the brows and lashes more than I miss my actual hair. On the support group discussion boards, people have reported theirs growing back literally over night and so every morning I run to the mirror to check, but so far, they're no shows. (Well, ok, I don't "run," I don't do anything particularly quickly in the morning, but you get the idea.)

After checking for the non-existent brows and lashes, I recreate them using brow- and eye-liner and so must give props to my MaryKay education (I'm a part-time consultant), which is coming in VERY handy.

Bummer!

If you've been paying close attention, you would have noted that I was due to get my medi-port removed today.

Alas, it was not to be.

The surgeon's office called yesterday to tell me had an "emergency" and they needed to reschedule.

So now it's coming out next Friday (Sept 21).

An Addendum to Yesterday's Post

I've been thinking a bit more about September 11th and how our observation of it has changed in six years.

At work yesterday, we had a moment of silence at 8:46am. We used to have 4: one for each plane hitting the towers and one for the moments each tower fell. Now we're down to 1. I'm not sure when it changed.

As I mentioned, I commute to work via the WTC PATH. For those of you who haven't been on this train, it runs along the inside edge of the hole/construction site that is Ground Zero. When PATH service to the WTC stop first resumed, a hush would come over the riders as the train emerged from the tunnel and entered Ground Zero.

In time, of course, that dissipated, and the WTC stop became just another train station. And, in the main, I'd have to say that that's a good thing. If everyday, twice a day, every commuter through the WTC station thought about September 11th, I think we'd all be in therapy for major post-traumatic stress disorder. As it was, it was all I could do to make it to work yesterday after walking through the gauntlet of silence without breaking down.

But, here's the weird thing--which I'm having trouble capturing: Commuting, at least in the NYC area, is generally a silent activity. We're New Yorkers, we don't talk to strangers. And it's very rare for someone to be commuting with a friend or colleague. And cell phones don't get service on the train. Yet that everyday quiet is completely different from the silence yesterday. Maybe because it was more people in a smaller space being quiet. Maybe it was because those incidental conversations just weren't happening. Maybe it was that no cars were on Church St., so there was no traffic noise. Whatever it was, the silence was palpable. And reverent.

Which leads me to the conclusion that the September 11th observances will officially have lost their poignancy when the silence is gone.

A Moment of Silence...

I obviously don't need to tell anyone today is the 6th anniversary of the September 11th terrorist attacks. But I do feel the need to take a moment for it.

This is the 2nd 9/11 that I've commuted through the World Trade Center PATH station and so my day pretty much began walking through a sea of mourners, press, protesters, cops and commuters--all of whom were silent. Most of Church St. (the street that runs in front of the PATH entrance) was closed, so everyone was being funneled through a relatively small area, but somehow it was all being done solemnly and quietly.

As I mentioned, even the protesters, were protesting silently. There were actually 2 groups of protesters:

• anti-war protestors who had 3 people dressed as an American soldier, an Iraqi civilian and, I think, a 9/11 victim in the form of an office worker each with a number written on their forehead to symbolize the number of dead; and
• 9/11 conspiracy theorists wearing t-shirts that said "911 was an inside job" (with the "11" in the form of the twin towers).
  

This is also the first anniversary of the attacks to fall on a Tuesday, the day the attacks actually happened. However, happily, it is also the first appropriately gloomy day. On each of the previous anniversaries, if memory serves, the weather has been as eerily perfect as it was that September Tuesday in 2001.

More Shameless Self-Promotion...

manhattantheatresource presents EstroGenius 2007 an annual celebration of female voices Short Play Festival Line-up - Week 1 After People By Fiona Jones Directed by Mhari Sandoval Starring Elizabeth Rosengren*, Carla Hayes *, Judy W. Chen*, D'Vorah Bailey* & Brie Eley * Set in the future, three "families" of clones search for answers and understanding about the sun's demise in this exquisite new sci-fi short play by Fiona Jones, founder and executive producer of EstroGenius. The End By Shoshona Currier Directed by Michelle Salerno Starring Frederick Backus, Alanda Spence*, Vonia Arslanian & Gordon Lai Jack, April, Simon and Mal are the four remaining survivors on a reality TV show "The End". Who will win the prize inside the altar? Is it worth giving up on a budding romance? The Wedding (re)Gift By Jennifer Thatcher Directed by Devon Higby Starring Denise Fiore & Elon Rutberg In this sweet comedy, tensions flare when a young couple realizes they've been given a white elephant as a wedding present. The Cure for Panacea By Laura Schlachtmeyer Directed by Regina Robbins Starring Adam Nowak, Greta Pauley, Nikolas Priest*, Catherine Rush * & Allison Walton Two bickering couples go to the futuristic Panacea Clinic in hopes of saving their relationships and meet a young woman trying to get over a crush. If you could take a single pill to solve your love life would you? Swan Song Lyrics/Music by Andrew Frank & Doug Silver Directed by Andrew Frank Starring Jim Lawson* & Shoshanna Richman A new short musical by the team behind THE GREENWICH VILLAGE FOLLIES and SIDD. Based on a Chekhov one-act play, the musical follows an aging actor as he reflects upon his life and finds happiness with the help of his young niece. *appear Courtesy AEA Runs Wed-Fri @ 8pm, Sat @ 7 & 9:30pm, Sept 19-22 Program One Producer: Fiona Jones | Asst. Producer: Montserrat Mendez Stage Manager: Samantha Charlip | Set Designer: Amber Estes Lighting Designer: Lauren Parrish | Sound Designer: Trevor Earth tickets $18 Advance Sales at http://www.ovationtix.com/trs/pr/16211 manhattantheatresource 177 MacDougal Street between Waverly & 8th Streets Subway * W4 www.theatresource.org

Quote for the Day

Just read this on my friend ktbuffy's blog and had to share:

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar. —Drew Carey

Done with Chemo!

Wow. I've really been lax about posting, haven't I?

Well, for those who've lost track, I had my last chemo on Thursday, August 30th. No Neulasta needed since this is my last treatment, which means the "recovery" was a little easier. Had a gourmet, home-cooked Italian meal to celebrate. And the hubby and I are heading up to Lenox, Mass this Friday for a weekend-long celebration, hopefully complete with champagne!

Next up: Port removal on Thursday Sept 13th.

After that: Radiation, 33 treatments, tentatively scheduled to start Oct 2nd.

And after that: Hormone therapy.

What Made Me Cry Today

Signature found on the YSC board:

“I am 22 years old, turning 23 October 3.

Gyno found a lump 8/22/07.
It is 4-5cm's.
Diagnosed as cancer 8/29/07.
Type: Invasive Ductal
More info to come.

I want this thing out of my chest. ASAP.

Also, I love cats and Halloween.”

PSA: What Not to Say

On the YSC boards, there's a discussion thread that resurfaces periodically about the things people to say (meaning well) that sort of miss the mark.

I think the biggest one is "Well, at least they caught it early." Basically, just because someone is young doesn't mean they caught it early, so that's potentially a big foot in mouth moment.

Also, back in the olden days of breast cancer diagnosis, the main classification they used was stage (stage I, stage II, etc.). Stages are still used, but they are one of many factors now, including:
- hormone receptor status
- Her2/neu status
- tumor grade
- lymphovascular invasion (or not)
- lymph node involvement
- age
- genetic status
- family history
- whether the cancer has spread elsewhere (aka, metastasis)

All of these factors impact a) how fast the cancer grew in the first place, and b) the patient's treatment options and prognosis. So "early" doesn't really have much meaning.

Tickets Now on Sale! (Shameless Self-Promotion)

Tickets are now on sale for my short play that is going to be in Week 1 of the Estrogenius Festival at Manhattan Theatre Source.

To buy tickets, simply got to the Source website and click on "Buy Tickets Online."

The performance dates are:
Wednesday, September 19th at 8pm
Thursday, September 20th at 8pm
Friday, September 21st at 8pm
Saturday, September 22nd at 7pm and 9:30pm

Hope to see you there!

Serious Games

At work, I've had the opportunity to participate on a "serious games" project, which looked at the use of online games to convey environmental or health messages (while still being entertaining and challenging). As a result, I've done a little reading in this area and it's sort of a fascinating world.

This story is just the newest twist--it seems an online role-playing game inadvertently developed a plague and real-life academics are studying it to learn about how epidemics spread in society:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,293920,00.html

For the Record: Treatment #7

Feel free to skip this one, I just figured I should jot this stuff down while it's fresh in my memory...

Friday
Drove into the city and parked at the CHEAP garage. (At the last treatment, the guy at the front desk FINALLY told us the garage on the next block did a special rate for the Center. We'd been parking at the closer garage which cost $31 each time.)

Arrived at SVCCC at 10:30am. Had bloodwork done. Took the blood from my hand rather than the usual crook of the arm. I think this is because they had trouble with my port during the last treatment and so wanted to "save" the vein in case they needed it.

As usual, had to wait to see the onc. Finally saw her around 11:45am (apptmt was for 11am). She told me I didn't have to do the Neulasta if I didn't want to, altho it could risk getting my next (and final) treatment on time if my counts were too low. An alternative would be to wait a week, come in to get my counts checked and if they were low, do one (or more) shots of Neupogen instead.

She also told me that she and her nurse will be out on August 31st, but they could write the orders in advance so I could still do my treatment. If I prefer to have at least her nurse there, I can move the treatment to Thurs (particularly if I do the Neulasta).

She agreed to give me some more Vicodin (I had been using the "leftovers" from my surgery, but since I only had a few left, was using them VERY sparingly, like 1 per treatment.)

Finally started treatment around 12:30ish. As usual, started with a Pepcid first (orally) and then the benadryl and decadron (by IV). The chemo nurse, Meghan, had a little trouble with the port, but not as much as the chemo nurse had last time. This thing just needs to work one more time...

No nausea with the Taxol, so actually ate lunch: turkey sandwich and a nectarine.

The benadryl makes me sleepy, so slept for a good chunk of the treatment. The treatment chair comes equipped with a personal TV w/movie channels so dozed through/watched "It Could Happen to You," "Men in Black II" and "Miss Congeniality 2." The hubby took a walk to Barnes & Noble and got me a copy of "Stranger Than Fiction." Left around 5pm.

In the car, got my usual bag of goodies from mom. Each treatment, she gives me a plush dog, so we now have a collection at the foot of our bed. She also gave me a biography of Edith Wharton, a beaded ring and carved wooden box.

We ordered in Italian for dinner. The benadryl had worn off, so I actually was awake for the evening and went to bed at a normal hour.

Saturday
Basically felt good all day.

The hubby went to help my cousin & wife paint their new apartment. Mom and I slept late. Her hubby came and took us to lunch down by the river (it was a beautiful day). Then Mom and her hubby went home and I watched more movies ("Men in Black" and "Being John Malkovich"). When my hubby got home, we ordered in Chinese and had a mini-"Northern Exposure" marathon. Also did the Neulasta shot. Decided not to take any chances on having to postpone my final treatment.

Sunday
Went to my mom's. My brother came too and the 3 of us played Scrabble all afternoon.

The "tenderness" started to set in. After every treatment, I get this thing (I may have described it before) where all my soft tissue feels really tender to the touch. So, basically, if I don't move, I'm fine. But if I move or someone touches me, it hurts.

I took a Vicodin when I got home and another late that night.

Monday
Took a sick day. Read/dozed all morning. Finally got up around 1:30pm. The tenderness dissipated during the day.

Went out to dinner at the restaurant on the corner w/the hubby and his friend from work. During dinner, the bone pain started to set in (ah, joy). Took a Vicodin.

Tuesday
Felt basically normal.

Worked from home. I was originally planning to go into work in the afternoon, but the weather was really crappy so decided it was better to just work from home the whole day. Got caught up on e-mail, participated on a conference call, did some work-related reading.

At bedtime, the bone pain was back (it hadn't really bothered me all day) so took a Vicodin in to get to sleep.

Wednesday
Back to normal and back at work.

Only one more to go and the next one should be "easier" because NO NEULASTA!

Looking for Rehearsal Space

Ok, so this is completely off-topic. As you know, I have a new short play that's going to be in the Estrogenius Festival at Manhattan Theatre Source Sept 19-22.

We are looking for (free) evening rehearsal space the week of September 10th. Ideally, 2 .5 hrs each night Mon-Thu. It doesn't have to be a theatre space--a conference room will do--as long as there's clear space to work (i.e., no permanent conference table in the middle of the room).

If you have access to such a space or any ideas, shoot them to me.

Thanks!

The Insurance Care Package

When I first was diagnosed, I got a care package from our insurance company.

I'm not kidding.

Among other things, it included a hardcover, spiral-bound cookbook, "Eating Well Through Cancer" with chapter headings like "Day of Chemotherapy," "Neutropenia," "Diarrhea," "Constipation," "Sore Mouth or Throat." Very appetizing.

It also included "My Healing Companion," a sort-of workbook/journal/self-help book for cancer patients complete with introduction by Linda Ellerbee (a breast cancer survivor). I read a couple of reviews on Amazon by people who thought it was a great book, but for me, anything with activity instructions that begin "Grab a pen, pencil or crayon..." (emphasis added) creates this sort of visceral negative reaction in me. Really? This will all be OK if I just pick up a crayon and list my best qualities? (The title page also puts me off. It reads: "My Healing Companion was completed by [space for name] with help from my friend, Beverly Katherine Kirkhart.")

I must admit that when I first got the package, I was impressed because, I don't know, I guess because the insurance company actually seemed to care about what was happening. And I'm sure the people who wrote these books did it with the best of intentions and goodness of heart and so I don't like to denigrate their efforts. But I also know that any cookbook with a section titled "Diarrhea" is not something I'm going to ever use a recipe from. And I already talked about the whole crayon thing. So, into the used book donation bag they go. Hopefully they will be found by someone more appreciative.

FAQ: Am I Working?

A couple of folks have asked me whether I've been working through chemo.

The answer is a qualified yes.

Before all this started, I already worked a "compressed" schedule, which means I work a longer day Mon-Thu and then have every other Friday off. Those every-other-Fridays are now my treatment days. On top of that, I have a "medical flexiplace" agreement in place, which means I can work from home all or part of the week following my treatment. The past 2 treatments, I've taken the Monday following as a sick day and then worked all or part of Tuesday from home. I also go in late when I need to.

So, the short answer is that I am working, but in a very good situation with a very understanding and supportive boss for which I am very grateful.

(And this week I'm on vacation.)

Loss by Attrition

I just did a bit of spring cleaning (I know, I'm late) and decided to donate a small brass mirror to the local thrift shop. Not a big deal, I know. Except that it was Jeanne's. Jeanne, for those who don't know, was my mom's sister and best friend and my godmother, aunt, mentor and very close friend (and a sister and aunt and friend to many of the folks who read this blog) who died of breast cancer in 1990. (I promise this is not an entry about breast cancer.)

When Jeanne first died and we went through her belongings, I took quite a bit of her stuff: clothes I thought I might wear, a couple of favorite pieces of jewelry, some decorative items, some kitchen stuff--I was in college at the time and moving into an apartment and so any kind of kitchen stuff was welcome--and even some makeup.

But that was in 1990. And I've moved...let me count...9 times since then. (No, I'm not kidding. I just counted.) And with each move--moves being the times when you really look at your belongings and ask the question, "Do I need this?" (or, more specifically, "Would I rather pack this or toss this?")--I've let a couple of things go. In the early years, it was some of the clothes that I quickly realized I would never wear and some of the kitchen stuff--whenever I move I always get the urge to upgrade my kitchen stuff. (Oddly, I held onto the makeup--though I never used it--longer than was reasonable or even sanitary.)

In more recent years, there have been some other things of no inherent sentimental value, but which had become sentimental because I'd held onto them for so long. Like a cheap makeup mirror in a plastic frame (one of those mirrors that shows your normal reflection on one side and a magnified reflection--which I NEVER use, regular is scary enough, thank you--on the other). At first the plastic frame was chipped. Then it was cracked. And then more cracked. And I never used it anyway. In our last apartment, it sat up on top of the wall cabinet and collected dust. When we moved last year, I finally took a good, long, hard look at it and realized it was a purchase Jeanne had probably made with little thought or care. If she had been alive, she likely would have tossed it or replaced it several times over the SIXTEEN YEARS I had hung onto it as if it were a precious (ok, neglected) family heirloom. And so I tossed it. But--irrational though this is--it made me a little bit sad. Because it's one less thing in my life that was hers.

And so each time I assess a bit of the flotsam or jetsam from her life that's been woven into mine, I find myself asking the ridiculously hard question: do I keep it because it was hers, or do I acknowledge that even she wouldn't have kept it this long? Does it really honor her memory to save a drugstore mirror? Or even a brass one?

The rational part of my brain says no. Moreover, it says they're not even "hers" anymore. In most cases, I've now owned them far longer than she did. But another part of me feels it as a loss. A diminution of the things circulating in the world of the people who loved her who value them for that reason: because they were hers. And so, in a way, less of her circulating in our world.

Loss by attrition.


Postscript:
As I've been writing this, I've been trying to remember what other items of hers I still have. It's harder than you'd think because, as evidenced above, some of the things are really mundane items that have been woven into my life. So, without further ado, here's my running list. I still have:
- her brown leather jacket that I still wear although it's starting to fall apart
- her explosion ring (my first Joan Michlin piece)
- a brass box filled with her business cards advertising her services as a Certified Hypnotherapist and MariEl healer
- a framed print that I adore, but that needs to be re-framed because the glass was broken in the last move
- a black shawl that I keep at work
- a bamboo footstool
- a rattan storage cube
- a wooden jewelry box inlaid w/brass
- a small, velvet-lined wood box
- a mounted photo she took of fishing boats in Provincetown
- a couple of her drawings
- some of her books
- a garlic press

I'm ready for hair...(in the right places)

I know I acclimated to the losing the hair thing much better than I expected to, but it's getting old now. I'd like at least a little re-growth. I'm actually missing the buzz cut the hubby gave me when my hair starting falling out.

I've heard that some people's hair starts to grow back on Taxol (the drug I'm on now), but so far, I don't see anything.

Actually, what has happened is that my eyebrows and eyelashes have started to fall out.

Not my arm hair though.

And I need to shave my legs again.

Not fair.

Only 1 More Shot!

Whoopee!!!!!

I think I mentioned before that I've had to give myself an injection of Neulasta 24hrs after every treatment to keep my white blood cells high enough to keep getting chemo (i.e., to keep myself well enough to keep getting poisoned...). Anyway, I just talked to the nurse today and, of course, I don't need a Neulasta shot after my final treatment because it's the final one. (I should have figured this out myself, but didn't. Chalk it up to chemo brain.) So that means only 1 more. Yippee!!!

Estrogenius Festival Benefit - This Sunday!

ESTROGENIUS FESTIVAL BENEFIT -- SUNDAY, AUGUST 12th from 5 - 10 pm
Live Music! Manbake! Good Times! Celebrate the 2007 EstroGenius Festival on Sunday, August 12th from 5 pm until 10 pm. Meet and greet Team Estro -- the producers, designers, writers, actors, dancers, and many other people. Hear live music by Athena Reich, Sarah Tracey, The Manson Family Singers, Mark Aaron James, Nancy Sirianni & Doug Silver and Jonathan Holtzman. Enjoy yummy treats (cookies, cakes, pies) baked by the Men of Manhattan Theatre Source at the EstroGenius Festival Benefit. A manbake like no other!

Manhattan Theatre Source
177 MacDougal St. (between W 8th St. & Waverly Place)
Subway: A/C/E or B/D/F/V to W 4th
5 pm until 10 pm
Tix: $10 | $5 for Estro participants

All proceeds benefit the EstroGenius Festival, the premier showcase for female creativity, running September 19 through October 13 at Manhattan Theatre Source. Check it out at www.estrogenius.org.

One of the many injustices of this whole thing...

The steroids they give you to stave off the nausea of chemo can actually cause you to GAIN weight.

So, for those of you who were wondering if I've suddenly dropped a bunch of weight, the answer is no.

I am happy to report, though, that I've managed not to gain any. Probably out of pure stubbornness.

Between the nausea from treatments 3 & 4 and the deranged tastebuds my eating habits have been, shall we say, a bit weird.

Not One, But Two...

My mom and I went to the theatre last night and, as we were coming out the ladies' room, we saw not one, but two women sitting on the chaise lounge OUTSIDE the bathroom flossing their teeth.

Which reminded me of a day about a year ago when I was walking through SoHo and the Village and saw a guy go by on a bicycle with a parrot on his shoulder. When he passed, I realized I had walked by a woman with a parrot on her shoulder about a 1/2 hour before. The weird part was, I hadn't really noticed her, she was just part of the NYC scenery. It wasn't until I saw the guy on the bike that something in my brain went, "Wait a minute, that's the SECOND parrot you've seen today" and the image of the first parrot popped into my head.

Which is all to say that when you live and/or work in NYC, seeing one weird thing isn't enough to phase you, you have to see at least two before you even notice.

Flashing!

Welcome to the latest chemo side effect: hot flashes!

Yes, chemotherapy actually puts you in menopause (or, as the gals on YSC like to call it, "chemo-pause").

The "pause" part happened right away, if ya get what I mean, but the hot flashes, thankfully, held off until about 2 nights ago. They seem to be a little better today.

The hubby is actually happy about it because we've always had, shall we say, a difference of opinion about the ambient temperature and, more specifically, what temperature is "comfortable." He's hopeful that now I'll be more understanding of his A/C addiction. We'll see. I'm not a big A/C fan and so prefer other heat mitigation methods/coping strategies (e.g., I've ordered a Chillow--stay tuned for a product review).

The Pros and Cons of Blogging

Pro: I don't have to have the same conversation over and over again, i.e., "How are you feeling?" "How many treatments do you have left?" and instead can talk with people about other stuff like, y'know, life.

Con: People read the blog and know what's going on with me and so don't actually call or e-mail. (Ok, so "people" is a bit of an overstatement. Some folks have been commenting, e-mailing and/or calling and for that I thank you. It's the lurkers I'm talking to here...)

How Have I Been Feeling?

Sorry about the blog blackout...it's been kind of a busy week. To make amends, here's an extra-long post about my first Taxol treatment, which was last Friday.

The treatment took basically all day: we* got there at 10am and finished somewhere around 5pm.

(*When I say "we" I mean me, my hubby, my mom, and my fave aunt. My dad also came, 'tho he arrived a bit later. I basically had an entourage.)

The treatment itself went fine. As I mentioned, this drug doesn't cause nausea, so the main risk was just getting psychologically induced nausea from things like the smell of rubbing alcohol. At the advice of a family friend, I went armed with spearmint tea and gum and, for good measure, held my nose whenever rubbing alcohol was being used--which is twice: once when they take my blood for the blood test and once when they access the port to start the treatment. And it worked! No nausea. Yay!

The main concern with Taxol is that you can have an allergic reaction. NOT, they tell me, to the Taxol itself but to whatever its mixed with to administer it. So they gave me a major IV dose of Benadryl. Which meant I pretty much napped thru the treatment.

By the time we got home the Benadryl was wearing off and I was pretty hungry from not having eaten much all day. (Hey, it was an achievement not getting nauseous--the thought of eating during treatment was not at all appetizing. I had a little fruit salad.) So the hubby, mom and I went to the St. Ann's Italian Festival here in the 6th Borough. It's the 97th annual festival featuring world-famous zeppoles made from a closely guarded recipe (the hubby has a hunch...he thinks they fry the dough). So we had sausage and pepper sandwiches and zeppoles and they were YUMMY.

Friday night I fell asleep pretty easily around 10pm, but woke up at 2am and couldn't get back to sleep until 6. Not kidding. I think it was from the steroids, which is another pre-med they give (with the Benadryl). Finally managed to go back to bed and slept until 9am, so in my own fashion managed a full night's sleep.

Saturday: I still felt pretty OK. Just a little tired. So we went over to my aunt's for an impromptu BBQ, which was a lot of fun.

Saturday night: I administered my Neulasta shot (yuk).

Sunday: spent a quiet day at home reading the new Harry Potter.

Monday: I was still feeling pretty tired--and knew I'd be having a busy couple of days at work mid-week--so took a sick day.

Monday night: The bone pain started. Bone pain is a potential side effect of both the Taxol and the Neulasta. Had weird bone/joint pain sort of all over but especially in my ankles and the tops of my feet. Very weird. And very hard to sleep.

Tuesday: Worked from home in the morning, then went to PT and then to work. (Picked up our CSA veggies on the way home and made a locally grown, sustainably farmed salad of tomatoes, cucumbers and chives. Yum! Ate it with pasta salad w/garlic scape pesto...also from the farm.)

Tuesday night: Took a Vicodin left over from my surgery and slept MUCH better.

Wednesday: Felt much more like my normal self. Which was good because we were having a training that I had organized and I needed to be at work a) on time and b) all day.

Wednesday night: Slept fine. No painkillers needed.

Thursday: Day two of the training.

Thursday night: Went out to dinner with friends in our old 'hood. Had a wonderful time. Life is basically back to normal (until the next treatment).

That brings us pretty much up to date...

My Morning Coffee

I'm not really a big coffee drinker, but in the summer I do enjoy iced coffee. So, on my way into work, I stop at one of those carts the are ubiquitous on NYC streets.

The cart I patronize is run by the most charming young guy (I'm guessing early 20s). English is his second language, but he speaks it very well and is always trying out new idioms, jokes, words, etc.

He's always in a good mood, always remembers my order, and always calls me "Miss" (which is way better than "Ma'am").

My order, as it happens, is an iced decaf, milk, no sugar, and "just a straw, no bag, please."

Because he's so nice, I often let him keep the 50 cents of change from my $2 as a tip.

The problem: the coffee sucks. It took me a few days to figure out why, but then one day I watched closely and realized what it was. He uses instant coffee. ("Serves you right for ordering decaf," I can hear some of you saying.)

So what it comes down to is I pay $2 for a little early morning civility. I think I can live with that.

The Hair Chronicles, Part 5,077

...at least, it feels like part 5,077. (No pun intended--get it? hair, part? Sorry.)

It was pointed out to me by several alert readers that I hadn't posted my latest hair update:

I have officially given up on the wig.

After not wearing it for 10 days, I just couldn't bear to go back. Especially since last week it was like 90-something degrees out and humid. So, my colleagues are being treated to my scarf wardrobe (which is going to have to be augmented, I can tell already). It's truly amazing how few people ask about it. And, since after I lifetime of body/self-image issues, I am an expert at NOT looking in mirrors, I actually tend to forget that I look different.

Gilda's Club Weirdness...

I just called Gilda's Club because I was interested in attending a workshop they're holding this Saturday and was told I can't just come to a workshop, I have to become a member first, which is a multi-step process, part of which is they figure out if Gilda's Club is a good "fit" for me.

A good fit? WTF?????

I was a little put off by this (to say the least) and so am wondering if others out there have had good or bad experiences...

Please share.

(P.S. I should also add that a few months ago my aunt tried to volunteer for them and found them equally off-putting. She now volunteers with the National Aphasia Association instead!)

More Mini-Book Reviews

What have I been reading lately, you ask?

Good in Bed by Jennifer Weiner - I'd been curious about this one for awhile. I liked the beginning, liked the main character, was startled by how well the author nailed the whole body image thing, but thought she just sort of copped out with the (literally) "Hollywood ending."

Plan B by Jonathan Tropper - Same guy who wrote "Book of Joe" and "Everything Changes," both reviewed previously. Kind of like a male chick-lit author--light, quick reads with good dialogue, likable characters and some fairly incisive insights on the 30-something crowd. This book was sort of a Big Chill for my generation (I really hate that word: "generation").

Queen of the Oddballs by Hillary Carlip - a memoir by this woman who grew up in LA in the 70s and did some really outrageous things like stalking Carole King and winning the Gong Show. Entertaining in a surreal sort of way--what a life. California people are definitely different than the rest of us.

I think that covers it...I didn't have much time to read last week because I was finishing my short play which will be featured in week 1 (Sept 19-22) of ManhattanTheatreSource's Estrogenious Festival.

It's Official...

Chemo sucks.

I realize this isn't earth-shattering news, but the first couple of treatments went so well I was sort of hoping to sail through this whole thing. Anyway, the last 2 have been much harder--more nausea, more tiredness, more achiness, and--as my oncologist called it--"deranged taste buds," which means that I get this weird taste in my mouth that lasts about a week and makes some foods taste sort of funny.

The good news is, I'm done with this particular drug combo and the next drug, Taxol, is supposed to be easier to tolerate (and isn't supposed to cause nausea). The bad news is I know have all these psychological nausea triggers--like the smell of rubbing alcohol--so I may get nauseous anyway. AND the administration of the Taxol takes FOREVER. The actual drug itself takes 3 hours, but with the bloodwork and pre-meds, they told me to plan on being their for ~5 hours. Because it takes so long and because they have to monitor me for any allergic reaction the first time around, I can't do the treatment in the evening like I have been, so my next treatment will be Friday, July 20th during the day.

So I have between now and then to conquer this psychological-nausea-trigger-thing. All advice welcome.

My Brother Rocks!

My little brother cut off his gorgeous, long, curly hair and donated it to Locks for Love in my honor. How cool is that?

(And how ironic is it that the only one in my family with hair long enough to donate to Locks for Love is my brother?)

Update on the Pink Curse...

Well, it turns out I am far from alone in my aversion to pink...there's a VERY long discussion thread on it on the Young Survival Coalition site filled with both humor and anger. Which led me to this, Barbara Ehrenreich's essay on breast cancer called "Welcome to Cancerland: A Mammogram Leads to a Cult of Pink Kitsch," which you can read here: http://www.bcaction.org/Pages/LearnAboutUs/WelcomeToCancerland.html

Clearly, a more incisive and intellectual approach to the topic than my gut-reaction.

I'm Outta Here!...And So's My Hair...

Mom and I take off on Sunday for our annual girls' getaway to Saratoga Springs. Eating, shopping, reading and going to the spa are our main to-do list items. I can't wait!

Then we're back on the 4th for a little BBQ, chemo #4 on Thursday (ugh) and Friday we head out to the north shore of LI for a little getaway.

The best part of all this is it means NINE days with no wig! Woo-hoo! (I really wish I could work up the nerve to abandon it entirely, but I can't so far...I'm just not ready to "out myself" at the office.)

Postscript: In the continuing saga of my hair, I must report that more of the stubble on my head has been falling out, so much so that I've taken to using a lint-roller in the morning...Thought you'd enjoy the image ; )

Mini Book Reviews, aka, You Can Get Alot of Reading Done When You're Lying Around Recovering from Chemo...

3 treatments down, 5 to go...Still faring pretty well, although this one definitely knocked me on my butt from Saturday eve through Sunday eve.

Around Again by Suzanne Strempek Shea. A melancholy (I thought) tale of dashed hopes and lost innocence the circumstances of which are revisited by the heroine 20-odd years later. A good read, although I liked Shea's Becoming Finola better.

Confessions of a Shopaholic and Shopaholic Takes Manhattan by Sophie Kinsella. Hey. Sometimes you need to laugh. And, there actually was a bit in "Confessions" that got me thinking...<> She's working in this job that she doesn't love and is in no way an expert at but at the end of the book she realizes she IS an expert compared to the general population and leverages that to great financial reward. I'm thinking there's a lesson to be applied here...

Everything Changes by Jonathan Tropper. Ok, so I read this book because I had just read Tropper's other book, "The Book of Joe," which was really good, but the premise of which weirded me out. The premise of the Book of Joe is that the hero, years ago, wrote an unflattering book about his hometown that was a bestseller and a hit movie and, of course, led everyone in his hometown to hate him. Now, years later, circumstances force him to go home and face the music. Sound familiar? It should because it's the premise of "October Road," a series on ABC that's based on the experiences of guy (Scott Rosenberg) who wrote the book and movie "Beautiful Girls." Now, I haven't actually watched "October Road," so I imagine the specifics are different, but still, isn't that weird? And, to make it all even weirder, "The Book of Joe" is currently being developed into a movie.

Mohawk by Richard Russo. I actually think Richard Russo is our current great American novelist. No fancy literary devices, just good solid stories, characters, and plot.

Summer by Edith Wharton. This book was known by her family and friends as the "hot Ethan," but to my mind doesn't touch the perfect construction, economy and depth of that novel.

The Pink Curse

(This isn't exactly what you think it is.)

I hate pink. I really do. I have for years. The me and pink thing goes WAAAAY back. Really. And, yet, somehow, I keep getting involved in things that foist pink upon me in all shapes, sizes and forms. And it's never just a light, subdued, quiet little pink. No, it's always unequivocal, undeniable PINK. (The more I type it, the more I realize I don't even like how it's spelled. It's really a dumb color AND word.)

First, several years ago, I became a Mary Kay consultant (part-time at first, now VERY part-time). Ok, so no one forced me to do this. I love their products and figured trying sales would be an interesting way to "get out of my comfort zone." The only problem is...all the pink. Luckily, the point at which I signed on was when they were switching all their compacts (and some of their packaging) from pink to platinum. 'Cause, seriously, if becoming I consultant had meant selling pink compacts, I don't think I could have done it.

And so now there's the breast cancer thing. And the pink ribbons. And I freakin' hate'em. I do. I'm sorry, but I do. If it was JUST the ribbons, I might be able to take it. But there are pink t-shirts, hats, pillows, websites, scarves, teddy bears...the list goes on and on. Everyone talks about how the "Race for the Cure" events are a "sea of pink." (Luckily, when I did the Avon 3-day back in 2001 the colors were blue and white, for which I am eternally grateful.) Now, I want to raise awareness as much as the next person (ok, more than the next person, 'cause the next person has probably never gone through it), but I just don't think I can do it in pink.

I was surfing Cafe Press looking for BC-related t-shirts the other day and my favorite one is "Find a cure already, pink is not my color." I'd buy it, except it's pink.

Netflix for Books!

As those of you who know us already know, the hubby and I were early subscribers to and are huge fans of Netflix. Our queue currently hovers in the 350 range.

And, ever since we joined Netflix, I have lamented the fact that there wasn't something similar for books. But now there is! The very inaccurately named Booksfree.com works basically like Netflix, i.e., you put books in a queue, they send them to you (2 at a time), you keep them as long as you want, and then you send them back (2 at a time). Since our home is already in a bookshelf-space deficit, and since I'm now spending every other weekend pretty much sitting around reading, this promises to be a god-send. I got my first shipment a couple of days ago and am halfway through Everything Changes by Jonathan Tropper. Next up is Mohawk by Richard Russo (which I think is the only one of his novels I haven't read yet).

I'm sure this service won't totally counteract my bookstore addiction, but it should mitigate it somewhat.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorr--Er, Today

Ok, so technically I should have posted this last night to give the title full accuracy, but, well, I just didn't feel like it.

Anyway, as I reported yesterday, my hair was seriously starting to fall out (no actual bald patches, just handfuls of hair...I think we all have a lot more hair than we realize). So my ridiculously supportive, superlatively loving husband shaved it all off for me last night. We decided not to do a razor shave (yet), so I have this SUPER-short buzz cut that is the equivalent of industrial-strength velcro. It feels REALLY weird, but is useful for keeping scarves, hats, wigs, etc., in place. I'm also sort of curious as to whether it will ALL actually fall out or if it'll just thin out or what. I'll keep ya posted.

Of course, in the "life is just not fair" camp, the hair on the rest of my body seems to be firmly in place. At least for the moment. Now I realize I'm straying into TMI-land for some of you, but seriously, one of the ONLY perks of this whole thing was supposed to be a summer without having to shave my legs!

(I'm going to have to change the name of my blog soon to something like The Hair Chronicles...)

No news is good news...

I realize I haven't posted in a few days...mostly 'cause there's nothing to report.

Second treatment went uneventfully and I've just had the same tiredness as last time, which is good, because it means I haven't had nausea or any other really yucky side effects. Except that my hair's started to fall out. Not happy about that part.

Hooray for our CSA!

What's a CSA, you ask? Well, it stands for "community-supported agriculture" and it's a subscription to a local farm. You basically buy a share in the farm for the season and get a weekly delivery of whatever's ready for pickin'. If the farmer has a good year, you have a good year. If the farmer has a not-so-good year, you have a not-so-good year.

When we lived in the East Village only blocks away from the Union Square Greenmarket, joining a CSA seemed a little like overkill. But with the move to the Sixth Borough, it seemed like a good idea. We actually belonged to in our DC days and loved it--it really forces you to a) eat more veggies and b) be more adventurous since you don't choose what you get.

Yesterday was our first delivery and we got green garlic, green lettuce, red lettuce, collard greens and fresh mint. (The deliveries will get larger and more varied as we hit the peak of the season.) Now, I know lettuce doesn't sound all that exciting, but that's just because you haven't tasted this lettuce. So, THAT's what lettuce is supposed to taste like...Yum!

You can learn more about CSAs from Local Harvest.

Hair, Glorious Hair...

(sung to the tune of "Food, Glorious Food" from Oliver!)

Alternative title: "I Never Realized I Was This Shallow"

Well, as those of you I've been chatting with know, what I've been obsessing over lately is the whole losing-my-hair thing.

I've done polls on Young Survival to see what other people have done. (Choices: let it fall out, cut it off themselves, have a significant other cut it off, have a professional cut it off or have a party. The most popular choices are significant other or party!)

I bought my wig weeks ago so I could get used to looking at it.

I've whined about it to my husband. And to other people.

And, this weekend, I got THE TRANSITION HAIRCUT. Basically, the advice I received is that it's a lot easier (and neater) to handle the falling out part if your hair is shorter. It also gives me an idea of what it'll look like when it's growing back in. So, I got it cut short. Really short. And, if I do say so myself, it looks sort of cute. (Actually, I go back and forth between thinking it makes me look young and hip to thinking it makes me look like an aging gym teacher.)

Since I can't very well show up at work with inch-long, salt-and-pepper hair one day and come in a week or so later with a shoulder-length, red-highlighted bob (the wig style), I've decided to start wearing the wig to work. (I mean, I could do that, but then it would be kind of alarmingly obvious I was wearing a wig and I was sort of hoping to keep this a little lower profile.) So, I started wearing the wig. And, so far, the response has been good. I even got one "You look beautiful!" In fact, the response has been so good I'm starting to think my old hairstyle/color really wasn't that flattering and no one had the heart to tell me!

Anyway, I can't believe I've spent this much time thinking, talking, fretting, stewing, etc. about my HAIR. I'm starting to feel REALLY shallow. So, with any luck, this will be my last post on it.

At least for awhile.